There’s this viral post going around social media lately titled, “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry” by Amy Glass. I posted a link to the blog on Facebook a few days ago, and pretty much haven’t stopped thinking about Ms. Glass, her thoughts, and my reaction ever since. Why? Because I consider myself a young woman, and I have two beautiful babies as well as a hunk of a husband.
While I do understand wanting to have a shower for women backpacking across Europe, and landing big job promotions because they are pretty spectacular feats, I also want to clarify something. When you go backpacking across Europe you usually don’t have a whole lot of room to carry presents that everyone thinks you’ll need to survive. “Backpacking” implies you’re carrying your things in a backpack. No one takes six rolling suitcases when they backpack. Now, I had two SMALL baby showers before Xander was born, and had a car load of baby stuff afterwards. We ended up shipping a lot of it to California (I was finally moving in with my husband full-time because get this-we got pregnant my senior year of college in a different state because I had a full scholarship and in this day and age that isn’t something you give up!) As far as having a shower for someone who gets a promotion at work, I’m pretty sure most people have those too, but instead of a “shower” we call it a party and everyone meets up after work for dinner and drinks out. Sometimes you even wait until the weekend so you don’t have to wake up for work the next morning!
Now, she goes on to voice her opinion on how stay at home moms “do nothing.” Let me give a little insight into my day. I’m up by 8 (and that’s a day we’ve really slept in!) and making Xander breakfast, now and then I’ll make breakfast for Paul and myself too. While he eats I usually do any dishes we have, and start cleaning our house. I clean our house EVERY day. Why? Because I live with THREE men–yes two of them are fun-sized, but still. They don’t always pick up after themselves. The second I finish cleaning one thing something else needs picking up. Owies need kissed. Liam needs to nurse. It goes on. The second I think I’ve had my fill, its nap time. Once I get Xander to go to sleep, Liam thinks its time to have a party. So I spend two full hours trying to keep him semi-quiet and the house semi-clean. Eventually he wakes up his brother, I make lunch. (Sometimes I get to even eat lunch while it’s semi-warm!) I then clean up any toys that are out while Xander finishes eating. More cleaning. Liam needs to nurse. More dishes. I try to squeeze something educational in for the day, like teaching Xander to write the letters of his name. More nursing for Liam. More cleaning up after my Todzilla. More nursing for Liam. And then it’s time to start on dinner. Know what I’ve left out? Taking dogs out, trying to work from home, paying bills, laundry, stopping fights between the boys before they start, and cleaning up the things that get broken. Most nights I don’t go to bed until after midnight even though my list of things that need doing is still overflowing and usually I still wake up often to nurse Liam. And lately little man is waking up at 4 am and I have to get him to remember that it’s still time to sleep. Joys.
No, I may not be a scientist curing cancer, I may not be backpacking my way across Europe, BUT what I do DOES matter. I’m teaching my two BEAUTIFUL sons to share, not only their toys but their feelings. I’m teaching them how to spell their name and their ABC’s. We spend our days learning colors, how to dust and sweep and mop. I’m teaching them compassion, and how it’s okay to feel sad for our friends when they’re having a tough time because their mommy tells them no. I’m teaching my children. While Amy Glass might not think my day is the equivalent of someone who works in corporate America, I’ll keep working to make sure my sons realize that while they might not agree with someone else’s opinion they are no better than anyone else in the world. They’re learning to be humble. So maybe someday, if and when the Amy Glass’s of the world have little girls, they’ll be lucky enough to know the Xander’s and Liam’s of the world. The little boys who were raised by young, stay at home moms, moms who were given the opportunity to instill kindness and love into their children. Moms that wouldn’t trade waking up at 4 am with their babies for anything, well except maybe a nap with their babies.