I have plenty of posts where I praise my children and tell the world how beautiful they are on the inside. Today’s post is not one of them. Don’t get me wrong, the boys are a close second to the center of my world, and that will never change.
What does change is my perspective on motherhood. There are days when I contemplate how much easier my life would be without babies. Yes, I’d be working outside of the home, and who knows what that would entail. But, there wouldn’t be a 10 month old unfolding every piece of perfectly folded laundry as soon as I set it down. And in a world without my children I wouldn’t listen to my toddler scream for fifteen minutes because “I want to throw it away myself!!” after you finally threw something away after asking him to do it several times.
Nobody tells you that there are days as a stay at home mom where you lock yourself in the bathroom once your husband gets home from work to cry a little. It isn’t because life is so horrible, because in reality you love your children more than anything and would give everything for them. Today I cried because I’m just overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by Liam getting four teeth at once, I haven’t slept through the night in nearly three years, Xander proved that a sugar high is not an urban legend, and the amount of dishes I still needed (and need) to get done, etc. etc. The list could go on for days.
Motherhood is overwhelming. It is. And I’m sure every mom would agree with me that every stage has it’s quirks. (I say this knowing that my 2.5 years of being a mother are not sufficient in telling of every stage of parenting!) Every stage also has it’s absolutely justifying moments. For example, Liam took two unassisted steps today! They weren’t to me of course but he “walked” to our lab, Piper. Xander is in love with bounce houses now, and today he semi-conquered his fear of the Easter Bunny when he went up and high-fived the creepy 7 ft tall fur-ball!
My children are just as beautiful on the inside as I believe them to be on the outside. And even though there are days that I would like to pull out every strand of hair on my greying head, I enjoy nothing more than being their mother. So motherhood, they don’t tell you everything when you sign on but honestly, they don’t have to. Even if I had 52 days in a row like my crazy day today, my kiddos would flash a smile and that one second would make everything else worth it.